This is from the vault. One of the oldest blogs I ever posted. There is still so much truth in it and the issues that I discuss here still come up for me all the time.
Baring My Soul
Feb 4th 2006I want to talk about the power of Gods promises. But first, I must premise with the following disclaimer: I find it difficult and intimidating to write or share anything spiritual with anyone. I feel this way mostly because I have suffered in the past (and still recovering) from a very serious condition known as hypocrititus.
For those of you who are in the same boat, I feel for you. I know how hard it is trying to keep up a facade of being a Christian and feeling your life slip away as you become an empty shell of the person you hoped to be.I came to the realization and the relief, that it is not my job to make God look good. He looks good all on his own. After all he is, “beautiful beyond description, to marvelous for words, too wonderful comprehension, like nothing ever seen or heard.”
A note to those also afflicted with hypocrititus:
I recently watched, which I cannot in good conscience endorse, and probably shouldn’t have watched due to the pervasive foul language, a movie called “Phone Booth”. I was very moved and inspired by the ending which I will now ruin for you by telling you. A man is provoked, by the threat of death by a sniper, to bare his soul to the world. He confesses all and it truly was beautiful…
He says, “I’m a fake… I lie to my friends, I lie to everyone… I haven’t done a thing for anyone when it hasn’t benefited me…
He breaks down in tears and tells his wife, I come here every day to call another woman from this phone booth and I wanted to sleep with her. All I have is weakness and I am sorry. I love you.”
So often we live our lives grasping for some shred of dignity, when in reality, none of us have earned any. So we lie.
When the truth finally does come out, we find ourselves accepted and loved and standing in grace instead of judgement… and it is beautiful.
You may find this surprising but the bible supports this idea of public confession:
The bible tells us to, confess our sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed (James 4:16).
The apostle John writes to us these encouraging words with a promise, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
And finally, Paul writes to us telling us that he boasts of his weaknesses so that Christ’s power may be evident in him. (Making it obvious that is Christ alone who is the source of all that is holy, righteous and good.)
So here I am following suit:
I have nothing but weakness in me. I have nothing to offer anyone. I am a self centered proud hypocrite. I am by no means a spiritual giant. I am often prayerless, faithless, and loveless. I am a fake. A phony. I often love other things more than God. He hasn’t been the center of my life… I have been. He hasn’t been the love of my life… I have been. My motives have been acceptance and approval by others, recognition, fame, and even money. “But I want to start over now, hear me God I calling out for mercy, your sweet forgetfulness…” (sorry, I broke into some lyrics to a song)
We are all human beings. God is the only God of the human race. Jesus is the only Savior of the human race. And though we are frail and weak, we are offered hope by the promise of God in the gift of the Holy Spirit whom God sends to live in us as we place our faith in Jesus. And it is by the Holy Spirit working in us that we reflect His glory. And what is his glory? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. The fruit of the Holy Spirit, not the fruit of you or I. This is the Holy Spirit of Jesus living in us, living out his life in us, reflecting the image of God in us!
I want to share one final promise of God that I have found to be a lifeline when I was feeling helpless and hopeless:
Ask (*and keep on asking) and it will be given to you; seek (and keep on seeking) and you will find; knock (and keep on knocking) and the door will be opened to you If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him! (Luke 11 – *Persistence is implied here see Amplified Bible)
God will freely give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him. Luke eleven begins with a parable about persistence, and the Greek word for ask implies a continual act. I have been praying this each morning as I wake up and have noticed my life begin to change, but until death I will never stop asking (so help me God) because I know how desperately I need Gods best gift in me every moment of every day. And praise God we ALL (yes you too) have a Father in heaven who loves us and longs to bless us with the best!
Thank you so much for listening I pray that all who read this will be blessed and respond with faith in Jesus and be filled with the Holy Spirit of God, and that Jesus will live his life of love through you for all your days until his return when he sets up His kingdom on earth. And on that day may you stand blameless in His Presence.