(Instructions. Before you read anything, empty your bladder. Eat a cookie. Grab a glass of milk. Queue up Spotify, type in “SYML radio”. Grab your headphones. Dim the lights. Put the headphones on. (You mustn’t forget this step.) Decide you are still thirsty. Grab a cup of holiday tea with eggnog creamer in an insulated mug, press play on that playlist, and enjoy the forty-two-minute read of this epic opening to The Mystic One, Vol. Deux! “From my heart to yours.” ~ Daniel)
“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” — Paul, Philippians 1:6 NLT
“Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.” — Paul, Philippians 2:12-13 NKJV
Appendix
Captain’s Log, Stardate 09112025
“Full of broken crowns, forgotten names. Don’t leave me here. Don’t leave me here.” 🎶 Quote from the song: catacombs by s∅d ven (that “∅” is a Scandinavian letter! btw… the first song I ever wrote was to God. It was gorgeous. I entitled it “Don’t Leave me a Stranger”.)
The night after I published The Mystic One, I realized what Jesus had done to me. I felt tricked. I felt exposed. And there wasn’t anything I could do about it. There was no place to hide anymore. I published my vulnerability in a book. Just like how I heard Joni Mitchell winced after releasing her album, Blue, I was naked before the world, and it threatened to kill me! I will hate myself for this! And I nearly did.
I did almost allow Sadness to kill me. But that is a story that may never be told.
However exposed I felt, I wasn’t going to take my magnum opus down. I couldn’t remove the troublesome chapters. I would be censoring Jesus. Jesus had said, “When are you going to stop censoring me?”
My answer is “now and always”. I won’t censor him, even if He wants to destroy me. Like Job said, “Though he slay me, yet I will trust him.”
There is a passage in Isaiah in which the people tell Isaiah, “Stop confronting us with the Holy One of Israel.” I told someone that this book has been the process of me confronting myself with the Holy One of Israel. There is nowhere to hide, and I am tired of hiding. I don’t want to hide. I am not going to hide away in my Gollum cave again.
I’m going to come out into the light to be exposed and healed by the light. For the Light heals everything and everyone he touches.
Jesus said he would expose and kill our pride. And what a gift!
(I am now listening to Joni Mitchell’s Blue, to hear her soul. 🎶 )
I asked for prayer from a youth at youth group last night. It’s what the leader (Aaron) had us do after sharing a message aimed at me (or so it felt… I’m not that delusional to think that the entire world revolves around me… cuz’ it doesn’t… does it?) I did share that exact verse from Galatians 6:2 with him the other day, that he has now projected on the large screen with the Milky Way star background (mimicking the cover of my book?) and talked about nothing else but that verse.
“Carry one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
He had us all say together out loud as a humility exercise, “I am struggling. I need help.”
I was too proud to say it ‘out loud’ at the time with everyone else, but I will say it now within the safety of my book:
I am struggling. I need help.
I asked a student to pray for me for clarity over this book that I had published. Something wasn’t right, and I knew it. Gollum was hissing in my face, saying, “It’s false!” In some ways, I tended to concur.
Jesus said, “Tell the truth.”
So I will… Right now.
Like Westley on the machine, I, too, have suffered incredibly dark nights of the soul. There is a dark side to awakening. I won’t lie. It’s cognitive dissonance. Sometimes, awakening is collapsing into fear and doubt and unbelief, which leads to depression, despair, and hopelessness. I lived there. Sometimes I still do.
The Light of God exposes US in the light of God, and, like Adam and Eve in the garden, we retreat into the darkness to hide our shame. Every step of our life’s journey has been memorialized, emblazoned, and etched upon the halls of Divine Consciousness. And we are ashamed. So much so, we have said the words:
I AM my SHAME.
And then we go all ‘emo rage’ mode with it. We come to understand the demons. We become just like them as the demons turn up the heat, boiling this frog in slow, ever-increasing intensity, in an attempt to cut us off from God. They say, “We get you to do this to yourself by coaxing you into judgment… and judgment separates US into victims and victimizers… every one of US, in the end. But were you ever the victim?”
It’s not real.
The Gospel is real. So preach the Gospel to yourself. Jesus has accepted US in all our shame. He undoes all our shame from the inside out.
Let me in! I am here to help you! I am available to you!
God’s good word for you: Your name is, “Accepted in the Beloved.”
I AM ca’rAzy in love with you.
So have your time with Christ. He is your own Higher SELF. Get used to it. I AM is your best friend. “I AM your best friend. We are SO close! We are like David and Jonathan. Like John and the Son of David. Hmmm… Just think, me and you have found each other after all this time!
It took some time, yes, but you are home now. We will sort it all out.
Let go of all worry. Allow me to worry about that. “I’ve got this”… remember? 😉
Preach the Gospel to ourselves by sharing it with others. Share it with every other version of you. Every other fractal of the soul of God. Every other point of Divine Consciousness. An observation point. This is who you are as MY observer. You are my chosen, NEO… the ONE. You are The Mystic One because you host me.
Christ in you the Hope of Glory. You will give a correct estimate of me.
I broke. You are helping ME heal by loving one another. Love me as best as you can. There are no grades. I do not judge you. Say it.
I, Accepted in the Beloved, do not judge ME. For I AM having an experience. I am enjoying a perspective. This is what we do for fun, God says. What a trip! Enjoy your trip and your Awakening.
You are Welcome!
Kundahai!
But I am you, so I know how hard it can be, Daniel says. So bear with me through the next bit.
I assured my daughter today that I hold a constant state of forgiveness for her. I understand her. I am here to help her. I told her that she saved me, for every child is here to save us, which includes all of us.
Like Clarence taking the dive into the dark to save some “One” whom Papa loves, Each of us has taken that dive, so Jesus could save us. He showed us who he is by who Jesus is. We have the record of things he said. Teachings he gave. Love he proved.
I wish we could always stay positive, but there always exists a negative equal and opposite to the Light. So we learned to appreciate the duality of the whole by seeing the dark side. Yes, we are Jedi who have tasted of the dark side. Like Rei, we rush to the hall of mirrors to face the darkness. Tempted to forsake our first love for a bowl of red soup?
In short, WE had to know how dark it got.
We failed. It’s too late for us. How do we properly warn anyone of this pitfall? Why was I so evil? Why was I so God-damned selfish? When did I become a Dick, who hated himself and went insane? Full-blown despair and hopelessness. Apathy and dead inside for a decade… or more.
Do you want to hear that story? The sordid, juicy details? Do you wish to peer into my soul?
What do you want to hear?
“What do you want?” 🎶
All you’ll get from me is Jesus. My first love.
Jesus went there for us and WE, as the Father, came after him. Why? Because it was what he would have done. You see? We feed on each other’s LOVE. We are nothing without each other and our love. Of course I desire unity!!! This is between you and every other version of I AM!!! Each one carrying the Lover of my soul! Every one of us hosting the Christ in US, the Hope of Glory. I love you! I will serve you. You are Christ!
Namaste! 🙏 The Christ in me bows to the Christ in you.
I desire for every One of you, my “Neo”. It is so very personal to ME and also so very personal to you.
Your best friend is telling you: “I will never leave you. I will never forsake you.” ~ Yeshua
Every bit of the revelation of God in Christ, and Christ in Jesus. And he says to ONE and ALL, “Go and sin no more. I empower you not to miss it anymore. No need for shortcuts. Do it in your own time. Do it in your own way.”
Papa never left Yeshua. When the Son was slain before the foundation of creation. Papa in Jesus is undergirding the universe’s very existence.
(By the way… The enemy takes advantage of my honor for his freedom, that he did what he did. But Jesus says, “But then I did what I did…” Jesus just quoted himself from Will’s story! BTW…Currently listening to “Into the Mystic.”
“When that foghorn blows, I will be coming home. I don’t have to fear it…Into the mystic.” 🎶)
Meanwhile, WE learned what love is by seeing what it was not. We experienced the Contrast. The negative polarity. We tasted of evil. We entertained a certain proclivity for horror.
But, when you first came here, you fully intended to make heaven on earth by and through your love and light… not to join the darkness. But Ben Solo becomes Kylo Ren. You didn’t have to go the way of sin. But you did. You didn’t have to allow evil to be a part of your life. But you did. You didn’t have to plunge the light saber into your Papa on the catwalk… but you did.
You’re not alone. We ALL did. He consigned US all over to disobedience that he may have mercy on US ALL. Remember that from Scripture? Remember? While you are at it, why don’t you call to mind what 2 Samuel 14:14 says? Daniel will quote it now for you:
“All of us are like water that is spilled out on the ground, which cannot be recovered. But God does not simply sweep life away. No, instead He devises ways to bring us back to Himself when we have become separated from him.”
“And there shall be no more sea…” …no more separation. Look it up, and you shall see. Is this a prophetic picture of everyone’s ultimate restoration? Reconciliation for One and for ALL. That is the Gospel. The secret is… Papa never left the Son, and he wants you to know it because it means he never left you. He cannot deny HimSELF. The I AM is having a (fill in the blank with your name) experience.
Remember?
How else could WE tell you the secret as plainly as I have? I didn’t hide anything from you… really. Well, Daniel didn’t tell you what I think about past lives or how Daniel wishes to be an ambassador and honorary member of the Galactic Federation. (Pssst.. He fancies himself to have encountered our brothers and sisters from Cirros. He claims to have met and talked with Dryads in his backyard!) Stick around, and maybe he will get to that story. Could Daniel have been deceived? Sure. That’s a real possibility. He would not know it if he were. Such is the nature of deception.
But I AM happy.
Do you know why?
Can’t you guess?
I love Jesus.
And I AM Blessed.
I once learned the valuable lesson that our belief is the difference between Life and Death… Heaven and Hell. This is the activation of divine imagination to create realities into existence. You make believe either way based on your beliefs. What do you believe about God? God has revealed who he is in His Son, Jesus. What have you done with his established King? Have you surrendered to him as Lord? That is how I woke up today (11272025)! Surrendering to Jesus as Lord!
I eat, sleep, and breathe surrender to Jesus.
You know what I’m thinking? I wonder if heaven is embarrassed for us regarding the level of our devotion and love for Jesus? If you receive shame on account of this, that shame will create hell for yourself if you allow it to. Don’t go there. I brought this up to actually prevent you from receiving shame.
Say to Shame, “I do NOT RECEIVE YOU!!!
SHOUT IT!
EMPHASIZE IT!!!
WAGE YOUR HOLY WAR, CHILD OF GOD!
Do as I did for years following Jesus’ word that he created me to love me. Say every day, “Jesus, I receive your love.” Say it while you drive about. Daily receive God’s salvation and forgiveness in Jesus. The Gospel is Good News that proclaims freedom for your soul because the Gospel actually applies to you!
You are another version of Christ, whoever you are… we all are.
I see you.
And that is why I wrote this book. I wish to tell everyone who has been as ‘fubar’ed as me, or even far worse than me in this Earth school experience… to you I say, “I see you.”
“No I can’t get rid of your blood… no I can’t let go of your love…” 🎶 Song: Amateur Blood by Novo Amor & Lowswimmer
I love how Robin Williams chose to play the scene in What Dreams May Come. As he walks through the sea of souls in hell, he reaches out and clasps their hands. “I see you,” he says, offering hope and comfort. Again and again, he reaches out to grasp the hands of those lost, weary, forgotten souls. He offers light and beauty, if only for a passing moment. He HAD to be the light. He had to offer hope to that darkness. He had to bring warmth to that coldness.
When I watched What Dreams May Come for the first time, I bawled my eyes out at the end. I watched it in the basement of Pastor Steve Miles’ house with his son, my best friend, and best man at my wedding, Justin Miles.
While at times, I may have felt like I was broken and that I have gone insane in this asylum, which I sometimes call the mental ward of earth, one question remains. Is this mental illness still true after we preach the Gospel to ourselves?
Jesus is my Only Hope.
Captain’s Log, Stardate 10242015
(This is some of my oldest writing… but it made the cut, and moved me to tears as I read it again.)
I joke with my wife about feeling like an appendix in the body of Christ. Hopefully Christ isn’t beset with acute appendicitis and have me surgically removed! You get the idea. Sometimes we may ask ourselves, “Am I needed? Am I useful? Do I fit? Does God even want me? Do I belong?”
A dream helped me define how I have sometimes felt:
I was part of a play, but I had no lines. I found this unacceptable, so I wrote some lines for my character that I thought would fit perfectly and complement the scene. My lines were relating a dream about the events in the play. During rehearsal, as they read over my included part that I had snuck into the script, the director said, “Who wrote this? This is crap! This doesn’t belong in this play.”
He was right. It didn’t belong. I ought to be content to be a silent extra (ensemble) in this play… I guess. I don’t need to be the protagonist of my own story. But seriously, who is content NOT to be the protagonist in their own story? I think it is only right to desire and pursue playing the lead role in your own life. (Building your own personal legacy.) What do you think? (I had thought it a fallacy. A lie we have been told. Is this not His story? History. Jesus should have the right as the Director to direct his own play... to which I say, “I concur”… Can you?)
Then I was shown in my dream a house that was fully complete, but here I was, an extra part of the house that didn’t seem to fit anywhere. I was represented by a cubed rectangular object with a cone coming off of it. “What is this? Where can we fit this?” Someone asked. Another responded, “Perhaps up here on the roof? Wow, that looks weird.”
At times, I am tempted to believe that I don’t fit or that I am unwanted. Or, like the appendix, unnecessary … un-needed, or worse yet, unwanted.
It seems that the stuff I’m into or believe and think is cool just doesn’t jive with or belong in the established way of things. My part doesn’t fit in the ongoing play. The “church” doesn’t need a fifth wheel. Does the church even need or want me?
(“There, there.” As Baymax would say.)
I would sooner throw myself under the bus and let you have Jesus Christ. You have my permission to reject me as long as it means you are accepting Jesus Christ. I’d rather that you have him and perceive me as a threat and an enemy. Go ahead! I’ll go elsewhere and figure out where I fit. Perhaps in the New Age world? Yes, I’d rather be the black sheep, the scapegoat, and go off into the wilderness and let you enjoy Jesus rather than insist that you have to accept the likes of me to be a Christian yourself. I don’t want you to have to stumble over me on your way to Jesus.
But here’s the rub. I cannot not follow Christ Jesus. I cannot not be a Christian. I will never not be your brother in the family of God. Unfortunately, you are forced to deal with that. I say ‘unfortunately’ because I may inadvertently offend you. You will be tempted to reject me or something I do or say. I may talk about spirit travel and teleportation. I may go on and on about all that I am learning from my research of Near Death Experiences. I may bring up the topic of life on other planets and want to discuss the true nature of what we call “angels”. I may entertain different ways of seeing things that I find compelling because of the mountain of “evidence” that I have encountered in my faith journey thus far. But who is ready to talk about “aliens”? Right? Pastor so-n-so was not. I may have a thousand differing perspectives and beliefs than you. The way I see things may be vastly different from yours. But I am still your brother. I’m still a Christian. And Jesus tells me that we can still have unity in him. For unity never depended upon us seeing eye to eye about anything. Unity depends on him.
I mean, I might believe the earth is flat… if you don’t agree with me, we are not going to be besties now, are we? Well, not to worry. I can prove it!
The Earth is about 71% water.
That water is not carbonated.
Therefore, the earth is, by and large, flat.
<Boom!1 🎤 💧 >
‘If you disagree with me, you must be an idiot’, I used to think. Ughh… how sad.
I used to believe I was smarter and more clever than the whole lot of you.
That was my self-defense mechanism called “pride,” keeping you at bay. That was my self-defense mechanism called “pride,” isolating me from the pain of your rejection.
How many of us have become offended at Jesus? He is not called the rock of offense for nothing. There was a time when I took offense at Jesus’ statement to a Gentile woman, “It is not fitting to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.”
Is that what I am to you, God? A little Gentile dog? (My family name means “wolf cub”)
Well, I’m weary of waiting for crumbs to fall from the Master’s table. “Fine, if you’re not going to give me any lines, I will write my own script, and I will be the lead role of my OWN play!”
The Joker comes out to dance. I released the Beast from his cage. “I’ll do whatever the <bleep> I want!” I declare. My own personal declaration of independence. Does this make me a rebel in your eyes, God?
But… do you know what I really want? I want to love people. I want to see people come to Jesus and surrender to his love. This is what I choose to do with my freedom. To love and serve you.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. All things are permissible, but not all things are beneficial. So I will restrain myself from talking about the fake moon landing if you are one who is convinced by the government lies that it actually happened. I will refrain from talking about any of the insights I have gleaned from years of research into near-death experiences. I definitely won’t bring up any of the ways I might agree with some of what has been dubbed “New Age”. I won’t talk about the Scripture verses about the “restoration of all things” or even mention the term ultimate reconciliation…. much less Christian Universalism!
I will continue to support our collective conspiracy to censor everything Jesus has said that flies in the face of our beloved idol of this Western folk religion we call Christianity … Oh wait, maybe we shouldn’t censor Jesus? Who happens to be the most controversial Being in the whole universe. <Just floating an idea.> I mean, have we even read the Gospel of John!?! Scandal! On every page! Perhaps we don’t really want to get to know him after all? If we do, our friends in the Christian church might persecute us. We can’t have that, now can we?
<ahem… sarcasm alert!>
You may be able to detect my pain here.
How will we ever get along? How can we both be passionate about knowing and celebrating the truth and getting along famously? Was there ever an example of this working in history? How did the Jewish men midrash? How did they come to any conclusions?
Perhaps they didn’t! Perhaps questions, and keeping the questions alive instead of MURDERING THEM, are more important than having conclusions?
Think about it!
If everything is a manifestation of consciousness, then on a fundamental level, everything is fiction. But, just because everything is “fiction” makes it no less true or concrete in certain forms of reality. There are very real legacies being written here; you can read about many of them in Scripture. You can read about how David was tempted by the sight of a beautiful woman bathing on a rooftop that turned out to be the wife of his very good friend Uriah, one of his own mighty men, whom David had arranged to be killed in battle so that he could assume his wife as his own.
Legacy. History. This is how consciousness manifests in real life. Recorded for posterity. Written in the stone of Scripture. Forever emblazoned in the consciousness of God in the living akashic records of his Book of Life. For our learning. Peter’s denial. Judas kiss. Every murder. Every rape. Every adultery. Every sin committed, and every good deed, forming the personal legacy of each and every individual fractal of the soul of God… Really? But, what about forgiveness? What about when God said, “I will cast your sin into the sea of forgetfulness, to be remembered no more, as far as the east is from the west so far will I remove your sin from you!” I don’t want my shame paraded before all of heaven!
“Yes, that is the beauty of redemption, isn’t it? My pure ones.” I hear Jesus say.
You and I are building our personal legacy with every choice we make. Can we remind ourselves at this point to follow the example of Jesus and submit to the guidance and leading of Holy Spirit? To walk as Jesus walked and live as Jesus lived means that we will say nothing apart from what Papa gives us to say, and we will only do what Papa gives us to do. If only we could… and maybe, just maybe, we can.
And so, I’ve come to the conclusion that while we have the freedom to make any choice, our love response to His Perfect Love for us compels us to choose to make the most loving choice and live by the example of Jesus Christ, who submitted his own will to the Perfect Love and Wisdom of the Father.
I say with Jesus Christ, “Not my will but yours be done.”
I was in my friend’s backyard on one occasion, praying. I love to pray for my friends, but they were not up for that on this occasion, so I decided to pray by myself. I began to ascend. I thought about some of the teachings I had heard about ego death. To my mind, this involved a ‘letting go’ of all attachments. Was I willing to say goodbye to my family? My wife and kids? And because I thought it was what God may have wanted, I forced myself to disconnect from all attachments. To let them go. To let it all go.
I wondered in that moment if I was literally going to actually die as I sat in that chair around a backyard fire. Would my friends have to figure out what to do with my corpse?
As I continued to ascend, a thought came to my mind: “Am I usurping the throne?”
Immediately, I prayed the prayer Jesus modeled for us: “Not my will, but yours be done.”
Instantly, some among the host of heaven appeared and greeted me. I had passed a test. They then told me, “Daniel, we incarnated as you to have this experience.”
I knew then that we are wrong if we think that escaping this world is the answer. No… we incarnated for a purpose and a reason. We are meant to be fully plugged into this experience and live life to the full. To fully appreciate the abundant life Jesus has prepared in advance that we should walk in. Enjoy life. Enjoy your wine and coffee… not recommended at the same time. HA! Enjoy your life, dear one! You are loved! You are wanted!!!
I will admit, I am still a bit disassociated from most everyone else’s version of reality. However, I am not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing at all! I see myself in the role of an observer and participator as an observation point of Divine Consciousness. I AM a fractal of the soul of God… with a capital G.
Sometimes I envy those who are such method actors that they think their role in this play is actually real! What would that be like? Because, to some degree, I still see it all in the realm of fiction. There are a lot of interesting directions we can take this story as we co-create “reality” with God. I don’t think he wants just puppets on a string. We can explore the realms. We can experience true freedom as Neo, fully free to play with your Matrix. You will find your Way, shining One! My Neo!
I have a hard time believing that Jesus was a puppet on a string. But he did submit himself to a charted course for his life, didn’t he? He did so effortlessly. He did it by remaining in the Zen Flow of Papa’s Love. I imagine a clueless Yeshua woke every morning saying, “What’s next, Papa?”
I’m exhausted of being relegated to a Gollum cave. I put myself in solitary confinement because I was made to believe that I was not good for anyone. I bought into this lie. I was convinced for some time that I was a part of the disease and not the cure. I thought, “I’d rather die than be a detriment to another human being connecting with Jesus. I need to be an asset to my Savior and his Kingdom. Out of my own love for others, I will isolate and crawl back into my Gollum cave if that is what is best for everyone.”
Jesus likes me just the way I am.
“I like you just the way you are!” — 🎶 Song: Nothing Else by Angus and Julia Stone
Of course, I now believe I am exactly who God has made me to be, but I’m humble enough to realize how immature I am in the identity he is still establishing me in. We all are! But a life at any stage of its development is no less valuable than the finished product. It is perfect, in fact, for a life is exactly what it is meant to be at any stage of its development. An acorn is just as perfect as the oak tree. You would never have the oak tree without the bitter acorn. I emphasize the word bitter here because you may get a sour taste from something I’ve said or done in my immaturity.
I’ll admit that I have pursued the fringes of the so-called “esoteric” areas of Christian mystical experience, and apparently may have offended some of my Christian brothers and sisters? I have been outright rejected at times by some of those closest to me. Did I just need to find a group of people as weird as me to build a community that I could belong to? No… I don’t believe that is the answer.
There were times that instead of lovingly serving my Christian community, I turned my back on the best choice — to love — for my freedom of expression instead. I subsequently felt entirely justified in my decision, with my “I’m defending freedom for everyone!” rebellion mantra. Albeit, in hindsight, I found myself regretting my choices that led to a profound loneliness — on the outs with the “Christian” community. I defended my freedom to explore. I wrote my own lines and interjected them in the play, and I will be honest… my lines were crap. My lines caused division. My lines caused confusion. I wasn’t mature enough to choose to die to myself and instead serve people on the agreed “safe path”… however utterly boring I thought that amounted to.
I never imagined that anyone should or would take me seriously. I didn’t believe I was in a realm that carried serious consequences for my choices. I didn’t think too hard about the feelings of others at times and appeared to be a proud narcissist in my expressions of spirituality. I was in my own world. I was selfish. I hurt people and became entirely numb to the suffering of others.
Solomon wrote in Proverbs 4:26:
“Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path.”
Was I staying on the safe path? It would appear not. I was pushing the boundaries out on the frontier where dangerous savages roamed. I suppose that it wasn’t “safe” for some people when I had talked so freely on my Youtube channel about Tao, reincarnation, yoga, chakras, Near Death Experiences, spirit travel and teleportation, channeling, and sacred geometry. If given the time, I can show you how each of these topics finds their true meaning in Christ, but who will give me the time if they feel I cannot be trusted?
Can I be trusted?
I will say that you can trust Jesus in me. I am growing. I see myself as a fellow journeyer, and if you are looking for an expert guide, look to Jesus. Ask for His Holy Spirit. My foundation for healthy spirituality is founded in surrender to him, not in trusting in what I think I know. I surrender to the love of Jesus.
Into the capable hands of my Good Shepherd and overseer of my soul, I commit my spirit. It is this very active ongoing surrender to his love that has comforted my soul, and I come to find in the end that I do belong in his family. I have no regrets. My whole life of painful missteps were all for my, and perhaps, your, learning. When I created a disturbance in the force with my polarizing choices, redemption and love were magnified. Yes, people were hurt. I was hurt. And I hurt others. But, I recognize, along with David that “Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just.” (Psalm 51:4)
I fit perfectly in his kingdom right where he designed me to be, whether it fits in an established “church” or not. I am fully secure in the fact that he accepts me and has made me a masterpiece to show a unique side of him… as we all do.
A God dream confirmed this for me:
I was with Jesus the carpenter, and I was a piece of wood. I told him, “I suppose you can use me to light a fire or something.” He told me, “This is more of what I had in mind”. He gave me a vision of a polished flamed maple table top. Wow!
I was noticing that even my writing style comes off more like a geometry proof, where I attempt to fill in the entire puzzle for you instead of just simply offering my piece. I even turn an appendix into a chapter of a book.
My wife and I even wrote this lyric in our song, Home, about feeling like we don’t fit, even in a faith community:
“I’m a mixed juxtaposition, a puzzle piece out of place
And I don’t have a recognition, of where I fit into the space
I can’t check any of your boxes, don’t want the ditch on either side
My heart feels full of paradoxes, but I’m okay with this collide.”
Can you relate?
I once told a pastor, “If the church is fake and not for real people, who are sometimes ‘weird’ like me, I don’t want it. I want the real thing.”
Have you ever had a pastor see you as a threat rather than a beloved brother in Christ? Sometimes I haven’t felt like I fit in the established entity commonly referred to as the “church”. I haven’t felt safe or loved or valued in “church”. You know what I mean? What do you do if the body of Christ rejects you? Where do you go? Where can you find community?
Of course, I know the church — the true body of Christ — welcomes all the different and unique (and sometimes strange) parts that make up Christ’s body. I have since experienced community the way God intended, and this was rarely found within the walls of an established “church”.
I found community around a backyard fire with friends or in a conversation in a coffee shop. At a drum circle. At my concerts hundreds of times a year. And of course, most of all, within my own family. My wife and kids love and accept and respect and honor me… and even if, or when, they fail to do so, I still have Jesus.
There is a place for you. You fit with Jesus. You belong in his family. In fact, your role is vital. There is an emptiness in our hearts until you are with us, healthy and whole, holy and functioning and contributing as you should in the real way you do.
You are His masterpiece!
Even if you are an appendix like me, just know that the world, and many times the “church”, just hasn’t fully grasped how valuable that appendix is!
I was reading Robby Dawkins’ book, “Do What Jesus Did,” at a coffee shop. Reading through his stories makes me laugh and cry. The most recent story I read was how God sometimes gives us prophetic pictures to share with those we are praying with. He told of a woman who was skeptical of God and the church and didn’t know if it was a safe place to let her guard down.
Robby and another lady were praying for this woman, and the lady praying got a picture of a jack-in-the-box on a mantel and something about playing it over and over. So she took the courage to share that with her. The woman hung her head and started to cry. She told of how when her parents used to fight really bad, she would go to a neighbor’s house and take their jack-in-the-box off the mantel and play with it over and over, and it made her feel safe. She said, “I think God is telling me that it is safe here.” She came to Jesus and opened her heart to the love of God!
This story made me cry because God knows every detail of our lives and he cares… deeply. Jesus is your safe place. You can let your guard down around him and around those who truly know him.
The real body of Christ is everywhere. It is organic and living, and breathing. It’s in the relationships and friendships you form with other believers. It’s also in the gifted and anointed preachers, teachers, and worship leaders, or in the healers and miracle workers, and prophetic intercessors. You have gifts —“superpowers”— too! You can speak into people’s lives like the woman did who delivered that prophetic word. But remember this: God will never “use” you to grow His kingdom of Love, but he will partner with you in your own unique, strange, and wonderful way that you fit in the Life of Christ to realize the kingdom in and through your marvelous life as a Christian… It’s completely up to you whether to embrace the word mystic, even though by their very nature, every true Christian is also a mystic.
Are you in?
I’m here to tell you, “YOU ALREADY ARE!”
You are in. You are already accepted in the beloved!
I grew up in Spokane, Washington. As a teenager, I became aware of the gang activity in the area. Of course it was no where near as bad in Spokane as it is for many other urban areas throughout America at the time but, nonetheless, it was traumatizing as a teen to hear about how these gangs would drive around with a baseball bat and when they found someone who was wearing the wrong color they would send out the newest members of the gang to beat them up. It was terrorizing to hear about some of the violent things they would talk about, like giving smileys (curb-stomping) to their enemies or even random people.
I liked something I heard from the show Dr. Who. Who said, “An enemy is just a friend you don’t really know yet?” The Quakers have a saying, “An enemy is someone whose story you haven’t heard yet.”
At any rate, I can understand how people who are surrounded by this sort of culture cause them to feel like you have to be part of the bigges,t baddest gang just to survive (like surviving prison life, I would imagine).
I hated this violence and avoided all violent people. For some reason, though, I was attracted to the idea of having a group of people, a community that you felt like you could belong to. I even started wearing a white bandana with my few friends because, to my knowledge, it wasn’t associated with any gangs. This apparently was a mistake, as all gangs seem to have claimed all the colors… except maybe pink?
One day, I was standing out in front of a 7-11 gas station with my bandana on. Someone in an SUV saw me and yelled, “Let’s get him!” The vehicle turned around back toward me. I ran back into the alley. (Tip: If someone is chasing you with ill intent, the alley is definitely NOT the place to go!)
Once back in the alley, I heard angels coaching me. “Now get up on that dumpster. Ok, now jump up onto the roof. Lie flat and keep still.” So I did.
I watched from the roof of the 7-11 as two guys ran back into the alley after me around both sides of the building. Dumbfounded, they said to each other, “Where’d he go?”
My best friend’s sister was really drawn to that sense of belonging that a gang could provide. She wanted to belong to a community, a family that accepted one another just as they were, that looked out for each other, who “loved” each other, and would protect and stand up for each other. Isn’t that what we all want?
In this gang, the way that they would initiate new members was to “beat them in”. I remember the day she was beat in. I was at my friend’s house (her brother) when she came home from the hospital. Her face was black and blue and all puffy. As soon as she was able to move and speak again, the first thing she did was to call up one of her gang member friends and say, “Am I in? Am I in?”
It broke my heart the other day to think about this story and about that deep need we all share to belong. Then, Jesus spoke the following words into my heart and dropped the image into my mind of him on the cross:
“You Are In!”
Jesus was “beaten in” by us on our behalf so we could be a part of the most amazing family ever! A family that knows you and even all your faults and accepts you anyway – though they might just love you SO much to not let you remain in that sin… that’s what they have decided. Maybe you should respect others’ versions of reality? …Unless… it is a cult?
“Just follow my voice,” Jesus says. “I have established you in my family.” This is a family that has your back, looks out for you, protects and stands up for you, values you, and truly loves you. You belong! You are in!
“How can I be without you?” 🎶 Song: Through Your Eyes by Jordan Critz & Birdtalker
A Family
What if God is not religious? I’m convinced that he will, however, climb into any box you construct to be with you and meet with you there. But notice that you are the one constructing the boxes. He has none. The Old Testament records the ways the people of God constructed their boxes to define the undefinable. At that time, the Lord capitulated to the common religious practice of sacrificing animals, even though the prophets later revealed it was never something God was interested in.
“You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings. Now that you have made me listen, I finally understand— you don’t require burnt offerings or sin offerings.” — Psalm 40:6 NLT
Yes, while God capitulates to our religious forms and boxes in order to be with us, God is more interested in family.
So where do you “fit” in the family? It might not be in a religious institution. If I am honest, I have a hard time recommending any particular “church”. But the Scriptures say, “And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:25 NLT)
So, for the sake of our spiritual health, we must fellowship. We must gather. We must meet together for prayer and worship and teaching and prophecy and most of all, to love and care for each other in community. I have much to learn and have a profound need to grow in this area. Perhaps you do too?
In an interview with Charlie Kirk, Russel Brand was talking about his walk with Christ. He carried two Bibles with him to the interview and spoke gloriously of the redemption found in Jesus. He made this remark concerning the state of the church:
“There is an argument that could be made as to whether institutional Christianity is used a panacea (universal cure) to prevent people from being the radical revolutionaries that I believe our Lord would have us be.”
Micah Turnbo had an encounter with an angel who told him:
“You are meant to be fascinated. You are meant to think brilliantly. Your eyes are supposed to sparkle with amazement,” the angel said. His bright gold wings were like a swan in mid-flight. His robe sparkled like the reflection of the moonlight. His dark skin tone and brown eyes carried the kindness of God.
“Satan wanted to steal the source of that joy. Did you know the joy you have in your heart comes from God’s love? His love is power. It is creative, it is beyond your mortal realm. The magic you find yourself drawn to is actually God, who does things far beyond what your mind can comprehend. Satan created a counterfeit of the real. He is an illusionist. God is real.”
The angel crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders. “Satan makes me sick. Always trying to be better than God. He tries to be better than you. You come from God. You come from unexplainable power; the wonder of light; the foundations of the impossible. If you were to see fully what God can do, it would put the wizarding world of Harry Potter to shame.” The angel laughed. “You would say, ‘Oh, that’s boring.’” The angel rolled his eyes. “The reason Christianity is boring is because you make it boring; not God.”
The angel paused and tapped his foot. “Okay, that is all I have to say.”
He vanished abruptly, leaving sparks of light in the air.
“Leak my blood, patch me up. I can’t be by myself.” 🎶 Song: Can’t be by Myself by Lowswimmer, Novo Amor, & Squirel Flower
Daniel Lovett 